Isn’t saying no directly related to early quality parent (or caregiver) and child communication? Aren’t these early years important because you have, pretty well, the youngster’s undivided attention? Can’t pre-verbal infants respond to streaming positive affirmations including some questions and other cues such as facial, voice tone, and physical contact? Aren’t these seen and heard on TV programs such as Mister Rogers Neighborhood?
With older children, what about discussion during quality time as to how you hope they will respond when later confronted with social, drug-related, sexual and other just-say-no decisions? What about perhaps sharing your own experiences and/or watching key DVDs together, stopping viewing for comments and focusing very much on the child’s reactions and feelings? What about other situations in various media? At least children will have been exposed early on, and on an ongoing basis, to parental concerns and hopes and questions.
What about the unavoidable “no” such as in crossing streets, where emergency instant action is required? Otherwise, the “sandwich method” can help the harsh affect of “no.” You start with a positive, next the “no” along with rationale, and end with a positive. Without the rationale there is danger of the child tending to follow blindly external forces such as peers, drugs and/or tyrants. In other words the “Just say no” is a no-no!
Ron is tutoring and mentoring in the West Village
