By J. Taylor Basker
I admit that I converted. I abandoned subways as my legs aged, my breath diminished, and my anxiety increased as I read about people being tossed like gum wrappers onto subway tracks. I switched my faith to buses. However, I soon discovered that trying to take buses from the Far West Village at Abingdon Square, their final stop for most, is an adventure in dystopian faith. One’s belief that we can travel safely and securely up and down the west side of Manhattan on buses, without having to walk further to the subways, deal with the stairs, noise and possible dangers on a platform induce many of us to use the buses and abandon subways.
Yet, as in many conversion stories, the promise of salvation from the subways proves to be a deceptive cult with a steep tithe to pay beyond the price of a ride. Walking to subways is turned into endless waiting for buses who ignore MTA schedules on a regular basis. The M20, M11, M12, M14-A all serve the Far West Village from Abingdon Square. Riders will confirm that many of these buses do not show up or take rests while flashing “out of service” signs; their departures and arrivals have little to do with the MTA or other schedules on travel Apps. Why? Some say it is not because drivers sleep in the back of their buses at the end of the line at Abingdon Square, a practice confirmed by many, or disappear into nearby cafes and shops. The culprit condemned is the buses’ GPS or wireless communication hardware that needs to be repaired. Evidently, drivers cannot use watches or cell phones to determine the time or drive on their route. Evidently, they cannot drive unguided by GPS due to the complexity of 8th 9th or 10th Avenues. 14th Street poses a challenge since they made bus-only lanes so now they must pause at stations of the crosstown along the way—hidden behind veils of unknowing transit schedule checkers. The buses need mutual help from each other through these dangers, which explains why they often travel in packs, especially for the 14A bus that frequently arrives three at a time, after a long, arduous trip from east to west, sunrise to sundown.
The poor M20 however has an even better excuse for coming late to Abingdon Square, since it must travel up from Chambers Street on the notoriously dangerous Hudson Street, where ghosts of pirates, buccaneers, British soldiers, and angry members of the Lenape tribe, prowl the historic pavements of lower Manhattan, obviously causing delays and dysfunctions for buses. Some buses must even be captured en-route since they often disappear. Even the MTA travel App says that the M20 is an invalid bus number (see picture below) since they realize so many of them have been commandeered and the passengers kidnapped.
Yet the most grievous penance one must endure in the Bus Faith, is the repeated practice of pilgrimage inflicted on riders of the M11. Here riders who are safely on a bus, are abruptly discharged at 23rd Street. They are told they must then go on pilgrimage to the next bus stop and wait for the Second Coming of the M11. They are promised this will happen soon, so they wait in hope. Gaggles of struggling seniors in walkers, mothers with screaming toddlers in strollers, bitter secretaries, exhausted shop clerks and bewildered tourists trudge in procession out of the bus, amid loud teenagers in gangs cursing and spitefully swinging on the bus bars off the steps. Here the Bus Faith is the most manifest; promises of arrival times on cell phone Apps are shared. Waverers in faith are encouraged to stay and not to wander astray. Time passes, but the faith stays strong that the M11 will one day arrive. Some apostates get a taxi; others decide to walk. But the faithful remain although the sun may be setting and night replacing day, they wait. One day all M11 buses between 5:15 and 7 PM were inexplicitly cancelled. Yet heretical bus drivers have appeared and mercifully saved people from this ordeal. Once a driver took pity on his bus full of aging, handicapped passengers and announced he would defy the orders of the MTA Pontificate and drive us to 14th Street, willing to endure the discipline of a letter in his file of his transgression. His kindness was rewarded, for at 14th Street we were miraculously able to catch an 14A bus to Abingdon Square.
Are we in the West Village being punished by the MTA for successfully opposing the removal of our necessary bus stop at Abingdon Square, refusing to accept the long walk to 14th Street? Look at these statistics—the MTA should be weeping in hairshirts and repenting.
The M11 has received a grade of F for speed and reliability – worse than 96.6% of NYC buses.
The M12 has received a grade of D for speed and reliability – worse than 87.9% of NYC buses.
The M14-A has received a grade of F for speed and reliability – worse than 96.7% of NYC buses.
The M20 has received a grade of F for speed and reliability – WORSE THAN 100% OF NYC BUSES! These numbers were obtained from Turnaround, a group dedicated to fixing NYC buses
Riding buses requires a determined faith, biblical endurance along with gospel hope and a belief willing to endure all things.
