By Robert Shapiro
Thou shalt spay and neuter thy pet
If thou hast no money for vet care, thou shalt not own a pet
Thou shalt learn how to train thy canine so that thou willst not dump it if it isn’t housebroken
Thou shalt not declaw thy feline
Thou shalt keep thy feline indoors so as to avoid feline leukemia and protect native birds
Thou shalt not keep a single kitten lest it grow up less friendly and less healthy
Thou shalt walk thy dog at least thrice a day, including an hour of exercise
Thou shalt brush or groom thy pet often, to prevent matting and rashes
Thou shalt train with rewards rather than punishment
