By Ron Elve

There are major connections between language, feelings and behavior. For example, the partner who speaks in terms of “my marriage, my children, and my house” as opposed to “our marriage, children, house” reveals a clue about the reality of the relationship.

Saying “my marriage” could mean the person feels alone in the marriage, perhaps because he or she is married to a wandering spouse or a super workaholic who is a limited presence in the home.

Saying “my children” or “my house” was common in the past. Children in the past were almost totally raised by a stay-at-home mother. One spouse might have controlled all of the bucks and indeed held the deed to the dwelling.

Now, most of that has changed.

These days there is language like “we are pregnant” which says it all!

Closely and deeply examining your language for these “real”ationship clues and modifying how you talk can lead to an improved, if not ecstatic, main squeeze relationship. Enjoy it all!

Ron Elve (  is tutoring and mentoring in the West Village

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