I enjoy reading your newspaper and appreciate the up-to-date neighborhood news.
However, I noticed that it had not been around the neighborhood for a while. I found it just yesterday—in the trash. Then I found more in the trash! Whomever you charted to deliver this issue apparently ditched them all in the corner trash bins. I dug mine out. I’m not sure everyone did.
Perhaps nothing pains me more than an email stating that WestView was discovered in the trash. Tim, our Distribution Manager, quickly attributes it to doormen who receive instructions to “dump drop-offs.” But, so much work goes into each edition—it captures the best efforts of many very good and talented minds—that for it to end up in the trash is tragic.
When this happens, I think again of our online edition. Sure, we upload the paper after the print edition comes out. However, I would like our readers to give us their email addresses so that, when they open their computers, they see hot news items from WestView. That way, they can be absolutely sure that they will receive a “copy” on time.
We don’t plan to stop the paper edition just yet, or maybe ever, but we do want to obtain your email addresses so that we can begin sending you hot news items (e.g., “Trump Abdicates”).
Oh, but getting you to send me that email—how hard it is! So, we will purchase a lottery ticket each month and award the winnings to a randomly selected email address (this could mean millions of dollars.)
Send your name and email address to firstname.lastname@example.org and say: “Yes, George. I want to access your new online edition.”